One of the things I admire most about my husband is how he has mastered rejection. He moved to L.A. fifteen years ago to pursue a career in acting, which then transitioned to writing, producing, and editing - each of which come with an immense degree of subjectivity from often indecisive people, thus resulting in a ton of rejection.
In Vic’s case though, where rejection would discourage most people, it has the opposite affect on him, it actually fuels him. He takes it on the chin, licks his wounds, and fights to see another opportunity.
Me on the other hand, well, let’s just say that until very recently I would find ways to actively avoid it because I hate what it uproots. I will never forget a day in the fifth grade when the girls who were my best friends just a day earlier conspired to kick me out of the crew with no warning. In the morning when I got to school, none of them would speak to me, they each intentionally ignored me when I would say something to them and during recess, refused to let me join in on our regularly scheduled double-dutch sessions - I was devastated to say the least. I walked around the school all day crying and confused about what I had done wrong, which was absolutely nothing, they just didn’t want to be my friends anymore. A very vivid memory of rejection that I have carried with me.
Fast forward to a year ago when I started this blog. There is another blogger that I follow, whose content I loved so much I subscribed to her newsletter. Having a background in digital marketing, I know the work that goes into creating content so I would be sure to reply to her newsletters letting her know how much I loved what she had going on and was (still am) rooting for her. When I launched this blog, I emailed her to let her know about it and she began to “Follow” - that is until she became my first “Unfollow.” That eery feeling of rejection I felt as a ten year old crept in.
I wished that something so trivial didn’t have that type of power over me, but I realized that The Lord was moving me to confront something that I had been long avoiding, which was a serious fear of rejection. The girls that were my “friends” in the fifth grade were the popular girls and I remember how validated I felt being in their company - a dynamic very reminiscent of social media. In so many ways, social media is a popularity contest and people align themselves with whom they feel validate their worth (or brand). Here’s my reality though, God did not call me to be the popular girl - not when I was ten years old and not now.
Back to Vic...
I was talking to him one evening about how I had been feeling and asked him how he was able to stomach the amount of rejection he’s faced over the years and he simply said: “because I know my worth.”
A few months later, I am on the better side of knowing my worth in this space. My brand (Jesus) is not popular in the mainstream, and certainly my stance at taking The Word of God to be the absolute source of truth (straight no chaser) can’t help, so why even attempt to measure or compare apples to oranges?
So, I’ll continue to be over in my little corner of the internet minding my business and trusting that my words will reach whomever they are purposed to.